Sunday, March 9, 2008
During Sem 2.2, i told myself that if i continue scoring Cs and Ds i will be heading no where with a GPA of 2. I must do something about it and not just sitting there telling people that i regretted not studying hard every Sem till i graduate. I want to achieve something in my poly life and that will be getting at least a second place in POLITE and at least a GPA of 2.5.
I trained 6 days a week mon, thus and sat (School) wed, fri and sun(Queentown). My life is damn boring and tiring. After school, go for training and when i reach home it will be about 11.30 or 12. Have my dinner and start doing my work i have been assigned. I always make sure that i finish my work properly and on time. If i have any doubts, i will try to finish my work two days before and approach teachers for corrections and then re-edit my work. Whenever we have project meeting, there will always be someone who never complete their works and i just couldn't understand why.
If there is any outings or lunch or dinner, i was never invited. On MSN, only Cheryl, Sheryl and Leonard will chat with me about some random stuffs etc. The rest will not even start a conversation with me unless the next day is IJ submission asking me for my work or test which chapters will be tested, tell them the important points. This definitely shows how practical my classmates are and how "popular" i am in class. Maybe is because of my character or attitude problem, i don't know. All i know is I may be no body now but i want to be somebody in the future.
I only skipped training when I'm having tests on that week and i really have to study for it. Other than that, i will always go for trainings. The reasons for me to train so hard is because my skills are below average, my team is very weak and i hate to lose. The only way to help the team is that i must be damn good and fast. If i was just another average player in my team, I'm so sure that we are gonna get thrash 20 over goals again and only if i am good, i will be able to teach and coach the team.
I love team play where we can handle and pass around, move the keeper and give a good shoot. If my team is able to do that, i don't mind losing cause i know we have team work and we play hard together. That kind of spirit is definitely worth much more than winning. I really miss those kind of spirit in my volleyball days.
I dare to say that I'm better than most of the players in school and yet i always come down for trainings and i train much harder than anyone in the team. Playing outside team, i was like one of those noob players swimming up and down myself in the game. I will tell myself every single training that i miss, other people will improve and soon or later they will be better than me after all practice make prefect the more u swim, the faster u get. I need to get better.
I have my captain telling me that some players told him that they have outings so they won't make it for training. The first thing i told Eddee was to ask them to fuck off. Everytime i see or heard such things, i will ask myself why bother training so hard for the team when they don't even give a shit about themselves, I can't get into national team, TP is not a competitive sport anymore and i have been wasting my time and effort when i can spend all these time out with my friends or even making new friends. During the holiday, every time i go for job interview, i always ask myself if i get this job i will be missing trainings but i need money so what should i do pray that they call me up or not.
The worst thing is after training so hard, i don't see any result, i don't see myself outswim other players, i don't raise till my trunks are visible, my shots are still so weak and inaccurate. Maybe is time for me to consider if i should continue training at this rate.
Can someone please just give me some advises or comments, i really have no idea.
;10:46 PM
